the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
