i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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