yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
