Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
