i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
