would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
