I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize