Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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