the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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