I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
