Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i drank out of a bidet.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
