NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
