Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize