Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
