you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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