Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
