the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
