what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
