do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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