i permit you to call me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
