Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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