just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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