Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
