they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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