Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
