He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
