Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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