he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
