I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
