And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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