One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
