It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
