I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
