i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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