he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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