And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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