I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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