what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
