ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We were destined to go to rehab together
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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