he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
