drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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