I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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