She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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