I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
