i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
