I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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