Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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