its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
