He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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