someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize