im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
