Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
