no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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