Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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