just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
