girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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