he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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