I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
