Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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