So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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