Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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