Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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