So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
