Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
