Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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