I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
