I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
